A Funny Story: The Sunglass Heist of 2017

The other day, I did a load of laundry.

“A load of laundry” is kind of an understatement.  I panicked because all of the kids clothes were dirty, and stuffed all their clothes into one, overfull load.  Of course, the day that I manage to fit 90% of their clothes into one load is also the day a purple non-washable marker sneaks into the same load.

Long story short: yesterday, we went shopping!  Apparently, the week before school starts in any given city is not the best time to go shopping for kids clothes.  Our last stop was Old Navy, where the kids picked out t-shirts on sale.  I don’t know if you’ve ever shopped with three kids before, aged 9, 8, and 3, but you spend most of the time yelling at someone to come back, while another escapes, and when you go retrieve the second, one of the others runs off.

Finally, we get enough t-shirts to last a week or two, but the check out line was ridiculous.  After standing there for 20 minutes, we finally approached a register with an armful of clothes, and Penelope walked in front of me and said, “Mom, let me do it,” and pulled out her Batgirl Super Hero High ID card out of her Hello Kitty tote and shoved it in the chip reader.


The checkout lady chuckled, I chuckled, Penelope’s Grandma chuckled.  I told her it was okay, and I paid for our stuff and left.  We finally got back to our car (which was parked in a galaxy far, far away), and Penelope says, “wait, I gotta put on my sunglasses.”  She pulls a pair of sunglasses out of her tote, sunglasses I have never seen before.  Apparently, when she was trying to pay, she was trying to pay for sunglasses.  I should’ve guessed.

We’re very honest people.  I mean, we could’ve driven away without paying for those cheap toddler sunglasses, but I figure that’s not a very good example for the kids, so we drove back to the Old Navy.  Of course, there were still no parking spots within a half-mile radius, so Grandma ran the sunglasses in while I drove around in circles.  She was just going to pay for them, but there was no tag on them, and we had no idea where Penelope grabbed them, and, after waiting in the line for 20 minutes, the check out lady told her she couldn’t buy them without a tag.  Grandma assumed Penny would be over it by then, and was sick of waiting in line, so she came back out to the car.  Penny, of course, was like, “where’s my sunglasses?”  She’s not generally spoiled rotten, but she was so cute and sad we just couldn’t help it…a parking spot in front of Old Navy magically opened up, and I ran in with her to try and figure out where she got them.

She didn’t remember.  We waited in line again to talk to someone, they didn’t know either, but said they could check them out with the number on the side (although the other checkout lady told Grandma she couldn’t buy them without the tag) if we could find them.  We could not.

So Grandma ran back in to find the original pair she had returned.  By then, a few more checkout people had arrived, and the line was moving much faster.  She returned less than 10 minutes later with the sunglasses which cost her $2.15 with tax.

And that is how we wasted over an hour trying to buy a pair of cheap sunglasses after my toddler stole them.  Which, in retrospect, is not a very good life lesson.



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