Utah Renaissance Faire – Review

My husband Cam went to Urgent Care Friday evening after work because of corneal abrasions.  He woke up Saturday in a lot of pain and discomfort, so I decided to get the kids out of the house and let him sit in the dark and listen to Ready Player One on audiobook (narrated by Wil Wheaton!).  The Utah Renaissance Faire was going on about an hour away from my house, so that’s what I decided to do, because driving an hour and walking around in the sun when it’s 90 degrees and then driving back with three kids, by myself, seemed like a super good idea.  I say that sarcastically, but it really was a super good idea.  We had a freakin’ blast.

First stop (and last stop): petting small farm animals.

And then riding small farm animals.

And then riding dragons.

By this time, I was sick of spending a few dollars here and a few dollars there on rides, so I made the kids leave to do what I had intended to do from the very beginning: watch a joust!  I didn’t get any pictures of that, I was too enthralled in the theatrical and exaggerated action.  Also, sitting on very cramped bleachers with a toddler who suddenly developed an extra set of octopus tentacles is extremely distracting.  But, good news, the lady in front of us only asked me to keep Penelope from kicking her in the back twice.

After that, Penelope wanted to go to the Pirate’s Cove.

I watched there while Sam went and shot off a trebuchet across the field.  It’s hard being one parent with three kids, sometimes the best you can do is keep them all within eye sight.  Plus, it’s educational!  And I like saying trebuchet!  Trebuchet!

After a quick potty break, it was time for combat.

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This was my favorite.  The kids loved it, too.  After the first round, Penelope asked me to fight with her.  Not one to deny my sweet child anything, I took up my sword and showed those small children and geeky teenaged LARPers who was boss.  I’m not going to lie, it was a blast, but afterwards I was struggling with exercise-induced, cough-variant asthma.  Like a boss.  Ehem.

Local SLC peeps, if you are interested, these people do parties.  I’m totally going to hire them for my birthday party next year.  Or, you know, one of the kids.  Whatever.  They aren’t paying me to say that, they have no idea who I am, I’m just tell you because it’s super fun.

After that, I needed a rest, so it was beer time.  Root beer, to be exact.


This stuff is bomb.  Nom nom.  I bought one bottle for the kids and I to share and one to take home to sick hubby.  We also got dinner, boring cheese pizza for the kids, and heavenly sausage rolls with mash and onion gravy and bacon cabbage for me.  The Scottish food cart where I bought my dinner also had Scotch eggs, I still regret not buying one.

An aside: why do we Americans get such a bad reputation for our food choices?  At least we don’t deep fry our eggs.  Just sayin’.  

I was pretty much done at this point, and ready to go home.  The kids, however, were not.  We watched a bird show, and walked around some more, created coats of arms in the Queen’s Court, and then went to visit the Vikings.

Sam Danger got to help the blacksmith with his bellows.

The blacksmith had Lego minifigure weapons.  They are amazing, so I bought a couple.


I didn’t stop coughing until I got home and took a few puffs on an inhaler, and I’m pretty well sunburnt, but otherwise, it was a perfect day!  The lines were manageable, it was very fun and very family-friendly.  I did spend a bit more money than I had anticipated (isn’t that how it always goes?), but I guess that just means I’ll have to budget more in when we definitely go next year.

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